Mmm, Spam Emails

Hi! It's my first post of the new year, and it's going to be about spam emails. Woo!

Spam email titles are usually pretty entertaining if you bother to look (just at the subjects, mind you - don't go opening that stuff). What's slightly alarming is that they're supposed to be sinisterly targeted at their audience. That being said, I have to wonder what these people think about me (and how in the freaking world did I manage to get on their lists in the first place, because seriously). The spam emails I received today:
Watches with bling
Improve the look of your kitchen cabinets
Did you suffer a gall bladder injury while using Birth Control?
You may qualify for an electric wheelchair at little or no cost
As Seen on TV: Watch Over 4500 Channels
Miracle Anti-Aging Pill

The only conclusion I can reach is that the internet thinks I'm an aspiring rapper/interior designer with a crippling gall bladder injury who's aging poorly in front of a television. Thanks a lot, internet. Jerk.

I do want to make a shout out to the As Seen on TV spammers, though. They had the only properly capitalized email subject. Good job.

Your Email Has Won!

Spam subject line: Your Email Has Won!*

Apparently, my email has been entering contests when I'm not paying attention. Stop it, email. What have I told you about playing around online? Don't you realize it's a dangerous place? My email has probably been chatting up pedophiles and signing up for porn email lists, too. *sigh* I fail as an email parent.

I woke up this morning knowing that I was dreaming about a Wheel of Fortune styled game show that I hosted, and all the contestants were dinosaurs... but I can't recall the details. I should start keeping a tally so I can figure out what percentage of my dreams involve dinosaurs. I bet that percentage would be pretty high.

*It's not as bad, though, as the "Pervert Veterans" subject line. I don't even want to speculate on that one.

Spam Emails Gone Wild!

It's pretty hard to go through a day without getting at least ONE spam message over email. Gmail is fantastic about filtering, so I very rarely see it in my inbox - BUT when it arrives in my junk folder, I still see that bold Spam (1). Drives me crazy - I'm anal retentive enough to delete everything even though, after 30 days, it will delete itself.

That being said, I see some really bizarre subject lines, but the ones lately have been...extra interesting. There was "Nasa to Use Space Shuttles to Kill Birds!" And "Mike Tyson to Fight Michael Jackson!" But the most vile and horrible spam email subject line I've ever seen is the one I got this evening:

"McCain Sex Tapes!"

Oh god. *BARF*